In Which Galinda Upland Gets What She Wants (As Always)
by Emerald Ashes
Summary: Galinda felt like one of those tortured heroines in her romance novels: Forced to choose between her two great loves. Except, well, what if she didn't have to choose? Now, all she has to do is convince Elphaba and Fiyero that they should all be romantically involved. Just one little problem: Those two hardly even know each other!


**A/N: Look, I'm not saying it's a very good idea. I'm just saying it's a very** _ **Galinda**_ **idea.**

* * *

In Which Galinda Upland Gets What She Wants (As Always)

Elphaba stomped into their shared bedroom with her usual army-booted grace.

"Hi, Elphie!" Galinda chirped.

The green girl dropped her backpack to the floor with an intimidating thump, removed her thick coat (black as the rest of her wardrobe, to Galinda's everlasting despair), and only then turned to the blonde lounging on the other bed. Elphaba proceeded to blink several times in rapid succession, followed by no less than ten seconds of staring.

After an _awfully_ long time, Elphaba said, "You're actually reading?"

Galinda huffed. Honestly, the two of them had been best friends for three whole weeks. They should know _everything_ about each other by now! "I _can_ read, you know."

"A _book?"_

"Elphiiiiiiiiie." The blonde groaned, flinging her arms into the air with exasperation. This caused the aforementioned book to fly skyward, slam against the ceiling, and then land with unnerving perfection back into Galinda's outstretched hands.

Elphaba's lips quirked upwards. It wasn't really a _smile_ smile, but Galinda decided to call it progress.

"So, uh, what's it about?" Elphaba asked.

Galinda, smirking, hid the book's cover against her chest. "Oh…I don't think I'll tell you."

"Okay." Elphaba turned around and crouched down to rifle through her backpack.

Galinda pouted. "Take it out of my hands."

"What?"

"It's a popular thing," Galinda said with an absentminded toss-toss of her hair.

"Thievery is all it takes to make people like me? Oh Oz, I've been doing things all wrong, haven't I?" Elphaba drawled, standing and approaching her roommate's bed.

"TAKE THE BOOK, ELPHABA THROPP," Galinda thundered.

Elphaba gingerly removed the book from the blonde's hands, regarding its illustrated cover with a frown. "Oh. It's a—"

"It's a romance novel!" Galinda squealed.

"I was hoping for something slightly more substantive," Elphaba said.

"Oh, shushoosh!" Galinda snatched back the novel, and Elphaba didn't put up even the _teensiest_ fight for it. "There's tons of substancey stuff in this. Like, there's this girl with the most curliest, flowingliest hair -"

Elphaba retrieved their history textbook from her bag. "Uh-huh."

"—her entire family was murdered by BANDITS, and she's super-duper sad about it—"

"Right." Elphaba sat primly on her bed, back straight against the wooden headboard.

"—so now she has to choose between her bestest friend in all of Oz and the charming prince, which just isn't fair at all. I mean, they're both so wonderful, and she loves them ever so much—"

Elphaba's history textbook was open in front of her, and, oh goodness, was she _reading_ it? Honestly, couldn't she even _pretend_ to listen? It wasn't that hard; Galinda did it all the time.

"Elphie?" A sharpness had infiltrated her overly-sweet voice.

No response.

Well, okay, fine. Galinda could play this game. She could ignore Elphaba, loudly, until she apologized. Or she could…

"YAHOO!" Galinda shouted as she leapt from her pretty, pink bedspread onto Elphaba's dull, raggedy one. Or, perhaps more accurately, onto Elphaba.

The brunette gasped as one hundred-odd pounds of teenager pinned her to the bed. For a wonderful moment, the two girls stared at each other, and Elphaba's green face flushed red. Galinda thought that she looked like Lurlinemas, her absolute favorite holiday, but wisely decided not to voice her opinion aloud.

"What are you doing?" Elphaba hissed.

"You weren't paying attention to me," Galinda said with her most adorable pout.

Elphaba didn't notice it, too busy shoving her roommate off of her. "So you tackled me?"

"Yes."

Elphaba groaned.

"Can I give you another make-over? To say I'm sorry?" Galinda asked sweetly.

Elphaba's voice went monotone. "You, really, really don't have to."

"That's okay, Elphie. I want to!"

Even though it ruined the whole point of their popularity lessons, Galinda was thrilled that Elphaba hadn't started styling her hair by herself or putting on her own cosmetics. The blonde loved to run her hands through the other girl's thick, black hair and snatch up green hands to dab their wrists with perfume. Sometimes, when she was fixing up the other girl's face, Galinda would take her by the chin to observe her almost magical make-up work and think awfully hard about kissing her.

But Galinda had a boyfriend. Fiyero had perfect hair, a perfect smile, perfect fashion sense, and…and…he was just perfect!

It wasn't fair that someone so terribly good had to choose between two people who were each so equally wonderful. It reminded Galinda of when she had to choose between her favorite blue dress and her favorite pink dress the night of the Ozdust dance, but an ozbillion times worse!

Suddenly, Galinda had the wickedest thought:

Maybe she didn't have to choose, after all.

* * *

Galinda scribbled in her notebook, its lavender-tinted pages full of doodles, hearts, and several lines of (shockingly enough) _notes._

The most important part of getting her very own happy ending lay in improving the relationship between Elphie and Fifi. After all, they barely even knew each other!

Galinda just _knew_ that Elphaba would laugh that scary, scary laugh of hers at the suggestion of the three of them dating. Then Fiyero would start cracking jokes, and Elphaba would start shouting without even thinking about Galinda's very thoughtful idea.

So the blonde lay on her stomach, feet kicking in the air, and made notes on how to better the relationship between her beaus.

First, Galinda would have to show her best friend how wonderful Fiyero was and make her absolutely green with envidiousness, instead of all the things she was usually green with.

* * *

Galinda, newly outfitted in her newest outfit, flounced onto her bed. "Haaah," she sighed.

Elphaba was writing some silly essay at her desk. Galinda cleared her throat. "Haaaaaaaaaaaah."

"Are you alright?" Elphaba asked, eyes still stuck on the dumb paper.

"Fine, thank you. I was just thinking about Fiyero. He helped me pick out this dress. Did you know that?"

"I didn't." The girl still hadn't looked at her.

Galinda aggressively shook her forest-green, layered skirt in Elphaba's direction. "Oh, yes, he's just the darlingest. The shade goes so _awfully_ well with me, and apparently green is his very favorite color."

Elphaba's head snapped up. "R-really?"

"He had his servants hold my shopping bags and everything. It was all so romantic!"

"Uh, yeah," Elphaba said. "I'm sure it was."

"Ooh, and he bought me flowers, too" –Galinda giggled—"I only had to tell him once."

Elphaba snorted. "Only _once._ Wow."

"I know! And they're roses, too, the flower of love." Galinda grabbed the vase, twirling around the room with it, then set it in front of Elphaba's nose.

"Love," Elphaba repeated, sounding a little wistful.

Galinda paused for a moment. Was she jealous? She certainly sounded that way, and who wouldn't be after all the wonderful things Galinda had just shared with her? Now, the blonde would have to address this very delicately.

"Are you jealous?"

"What?!" Elphaba yelped.

Galinda patted the other girl's shoulder. "It's perfectly natural to see such a perfectly amazifying relationship and want to be a part of it."

"I don't want to date your boyfriend. He's an absolute idiot."

"Oh, no"—Galinda paused for a moment—"well, yes. But he's really very sweet."

"You had to order him to buy you flowers." Elphaba pointedly turned her attention back to her essay, the bouquet of roses towering over her.

* * *

Admittedly, Fiyero sounded less than perfect when you _talked_ about the things he did. When you were actually there, though, it was hard not to get caught up in his charm. With that in mind, Galinda, decided that a little quality time was in order for the three of them.

"You want to form a study group?" Elphaba asked, her brow furrowed.

Galinda skipped beside her after their history class let out. "I really, abso-ma-tutely do."

"But you guys never study."

"That's why we need a group," Galinda said. "Right, dearest?"

Fiyero shrugged. "I guess."

"That's the spirit!" she cried, grabbing them each by the arm and pulling them to the library.

* * *

Three hours later, Elphaba's glasses had fallen half-way down her nose, her hair was an absolute mess, and she kept rubbing her forehead. If she wasn't careful, she would get wrinkles. "You _must_ know who Aramandi is."

Fiyero's eyes darted around the library. "…He's the animal science professor, right?"

Galinda smacked his arm. "No, dummy! He's the history professor."

Fiyero frowned. "That's Dillamond."

"No, no, they fired him, remember?"

"Francisco Aramandi devised the third law of magic," Elphaba ground out.

"Really? What's that?" Galinda asked.

Elphaba slammed her head against the book and absolutely _refused_ to keep studying.

* * *

In retrospect, Galinda decided, the study group had been a bad idea. After all, studying is the most dullified thing in existence. Really, she felt lucky that they didn't all come out loathing each other after that awful, awful experience.

Besides, Elphie and Fiyero would never get around to bonding if they were distracted by how wonderful she was being. Honestly, she had enough trouble being distracted by _herself_ , and she imagined it must be much worse for other people.

* * *

It really was an awful lot easier finding Elphaba in the winter. But springtime had arrived—complete with green grass and floofy bushes and trees with bark as black as Elphaba's hair. When the green girl curled up under against a tree trunk to read, it became almost impossible to spot her. With this in mind, Galinda recruited all of her friends (of whom she had so very many) to find her roommate.

The blonde cheerfully supervised. "Really pick up the leaves, Shen-shen! Shout louder, Avaric! Put your back into it, Pfannee!"

"I FOUND HER, MISS GALINDA!" one munchkin boy exclaimed, dragging Elphaba by the hand like an enthusiastic child leading his baffled mother.

"Oh, thank you, Biq," Galinda said, reaching down to pat him on the head.

He smiled a goofy smile, as munchkins often do. "Anytime, Miss Galinda."

"You do realize his name is Boq, right?" Elphaba asked with a gesture towards the boy who still hovered beside them.

Galinda gasped. "I'm sure he would have said something if I were getting his name wrong. Wouldn't you, Buck?"

"I, um…bye!" he squeaked, running off. What an odd boy.

"See?" Galinda said triumphantly.

"Right," Elphaba said with a snort. "You wanted me for something?"

"Why, yes I did. You see, the most awful thing happened today."

Elphaba said, "You broke a nail?"

Galinda raised a hand to her chest, her eyes wide with horror. "Oh, _goodness_ no. It isn't as bad as that. Pfannee broke up with her boyfriend."

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "For the third time this month?"

"Fourth, Elphie. _Fourth_ ," Galinda corrected her with deep distress. "You really have to keep on top of these things or you'll never be the second most popular girl in school."

Elphaba said, "Me knowing how many times Pfanee broke up with her boyfriend is like you knowing how many hours I spent in the library last Tuesday."

"A little over six."

"How did you—"

Galinda huffed. "Because I pay attention, Elphie. It really isn't all that hardsicle. Now, anyways, Pfannee just broke up with her boyfriend, and I need to be there for her tonight."

"She'll be back together with him by morning."

"Yes, but tonight she is heartbroken!" Galinda said. "And my tender heart bleeds for her. But tonight was supposed to be my date night with Fiyero, and I don't want to leave him all alone when he was supposed to have hours and hours with me. I'm feeling like a pickled ham."

Elphaba blinked several times. "O…kay."

Galinda batted her eyelashes, pouted her lips, and placed her hands on her best friend's shoulders so that (if the blonde looked up just the teensiest bit) their eyes met. "So could you go out with him instead?"

"You want me to go on a date with your boyfriend."

Galinda beamed. "Yes."

"But he's your boyfriend!" Elphaba exclaimed, turning all red again.

"And you're my _best_ friend," Galinda said.

"This isn't…But…We hardly know each other. It would be awkward."

"Nonsense," Galinda said. "You guys can finally bond, and then you won't be all weird and silent whenever we get together."

"I really don't think—"

Galinda set her lip trembling. "Oh, please, Elphie. For me?"

Elphaba frowned but muttered, "Fine."

The blonde released an earsplitting squeal which attracted the attention of every person, Animal, animal, and mildly-sentient inanimate object on the grounds of Shiz University. "Oh, Elphaba Thropp, you are my hero! You know what this calls for?"

Elphaba's dark eyes widened with alarm. "Don't you—"

"A MAKEOVER!"

* * *

Galinda hummed happily as she applied the sixth or seventh swipe of mascara to Elphaba's eyelashes. She instructed the older girl, "Eyes closed."

Elphaba obediently did so as Galinda swiped blush across her cheeks, filling the air with the rosy powder. The blonde gently rubbed a reddish spot from the tip of Elphie's nose, smiling slightly. Impulsively, she leaned forward and kissed the other girl's forehead.

Elphaba jumped a little. "Is that a popular thing?"

"Not really. You just…"—Galinda shook her head, curls jittering wildly—"You look like a princess."

"I feel like a clown."

Galinda adopted a haughty air. "Elphaba Melena Thropp, are you implying that I, the most fashionable girl in all of Oz, would make you look anything less than your bestest?"

"No"—Elphaba smirked—"But my best…est look may look like a clown."

"Stop being so mean to yourself," Galinda said. "You're beautiful."

Elphaba's blush extended well beyond the powder. "…Thank you, Galinda."

"You're—"

Galinda was interrupted by a knock at the door, and she raced over to it. "Hiiiiiii-lo."

Fiyero, looking as dashingly perfect as always, stood in their doorway. "You're ready already? You're never ready on time."

"Oh, I'm not going," Galinda chirped. "Pfannee broke up with her boyfriend."

Fiyero chuckled. "Again?"

Elphaba's voice drifted towards them from her hiding place deeper in the suite. "Fourth time this month."

"You'll be taking Elphaba out instead," Galinda informed him.

He paled. "I, but, I just booked the snazziest restaurant in Oz. And I was planning to go dancing at the Ozdust after."

"That is sooooooo romantic," Galinda said. "It sounds perfect."

"Y-yeah," he said weakly. He was clearly nervous, Galinda noted, but willing to go outside his comfort zone for her sake.

"But Elphaba isn't ready yet," Galinda said, slamming the door in his face.

Elphaba frowned, pulling at the hem of her poofy dress. "Do you have to do something _else_ to me? I think I'm ready, or as ready as I'll ever be," she said, voice trailing off into a mutter.

"You're perfect," Galinda said, "but it's very important to keep a boy waiting. Waiting means wanting. That's the very first rule of popularity."

"Wanting," Elphaba murmured.

"It's the first part of love." Galinda took Elphaba's hand to lead her to the door.

"She's ready," she informed Fiyero, nearly shoving the green girl into his arms.

"Bye, Galinda," Elphaba said.

Fiyero's smile twitched. "Bye…honey."

"Have fun," she ordered in a sing-song voice.

* * *

"Did you have fun?" Galinda asked, bouncing and bouncing on her bed as Elphaba walked inside.

"How's Pfannee?"

"Not single anymore," Galinda said, dismissing the topic with a wave of her hand. "How was your night with Fiyero?"

"Fiyero," Elphaba said, "was fine."

Galinda scowled. "What did he do?"

"What?"

"Fiyero is the most amazing partier and fine diner and boyfriend on the planet. He once made me laugh when my white dress got a red stain. A RED STAIN, Elphaba. If you had a bad time, then it was because he _wanted_ you to have a bad time."

"I didn't have a bad—"

"Did he make fun of your skin? Or leave you all alone while he danced with some other girl? Or make you _tutor_ him?"—Galinda's voice grew progressively higher-pitched as her speculation worsened—"You give me the word, Elphie, and I will hit him right in his outrageously gorgeous face."

Elphaba said, "He was the perfect gentlemen. He couldn't have been better if…if it were you he was with."

"Then why do you look so sad?"

"I'm not sad, Galinda. I'm tired."

With that, Elphaba immediately began preparing for bed. This was a much longer process than normal, due to the excessive work Galinda had put in to make her dazzling. The two girls quietly scrubbed their make-up off, took turns in the bathroom, and changed into their nightclothes. Elphaba hurriedly turned out their light, ignoring Galinda's startled squawk.

They lay in the darkness, neither anywhere near sleep. Galinda could hear Elphaba's breathing, and it sounded so weak and shaky that it absolutely broke her heart. Feeling disappointed in her boyfriend for so obviously messing up, she offered the only thing she was able.

"I could bite him."

* * *

Galinda spotted her charming prince lounging beside the Suicide Canal and frowning at the water. With a mischievous giggle, she crept forward. As she hovered mere inches from his back, she lunged forward to cover his eyes with her freshly-manicured hands. "Guess who!"

He didn't answer.

"Um, Fiyero? Darling?" she asked sweetly, removing her hands to daintily wave them in front of his face. When that failed to elicit a response, her movements sped up into spasmodic flailing.

"Oh, ah, Galinda," Fiyero said.

"You aren't sick, are you?" Galinda asked, carefully taking a step back.

"No, I'm just"—Fiyero's nose wrinkled—"thinking."

"I've been doing the same thing," Galinda said. "It's oztrocious; isn't it?"

Usually, Elphaba would sigh for a really, really long time when Galinda said things like that. Fiyero, on the other hand, nodded glumly. "It _is_."

"Poor Fifi," she murmured, rubbing his strapping shoulders. The man was clearly in need of cheering up, and Galinda knew just how to do it. "How was your date with Elphaba?"

Fiyero immediately said. "It was just two friends. Hanging out and being all friendly. I wouldn't call it a date."

Galinda giggled. "I would. You were going to take me on a date, but then you took Elphaba instead. So it was a date."

"I guess you're right," he said, looking all flushed and adorable.

"I'm always right," she said. "Was it a good date?"

"It was fine," he said.

Galinda wanted to tug her shiny, blonde hair out in frustration. How was she supposed to know what was going on in Fiyero and Elphaba's heads if they wouldn't tell her every little detail?

* * *

Stalking was not the kind of word that an Upper Upland would use in formal, casual, or internal conversation (much like the words murder, treason, adultery, rugby, and all the other things her Great Uncle Gillie liked to do). With this in mind, Galinda labeled her actions "taking an interest in her friends." She accomplished this by following them around a lot.

Of course, she had to this this at a distance because Elphaba tended to explode things when people were too pushy.

A few days after the (apparently disastrous) date, Galinda spotted Elphaba leaving the library three hours earlier than she usually did. The bubbly girl excused herself from her crowd of admirers and hurried after her roommate.

The brunette stopped by the Suicide Canal, tapping her foot nervously. She toyed with the end of her hair, then abruptly removed her hair tie and undid her braid, leaving black ripples of hair to float around her face.

Galinda twisted her lips thoughtfully. Was Elphie meeting someone? A boy, maybe? Her mouth settled into a definite pout.

Fiyero raced past Galinda's hiding place in the bushes. "I'm sorry I'm late."

Elphaba snorted. "You're always late."

He smirked. "And I'm sorry about that."

The girl shook her head, smiling, but the smile quickly disappeared. "Why are we here, Fiyero?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

He reached forward, his hand brushing her cheek. "Us."

"There is no us," she said fiercely. "You're dating my best friend."

Fiyero shook his head. "That day, with the lion cub -"

"Meant nothing."

"It meant something to me. I can't just pretend this didn't happen. I…I think I might be falling in love with you," he whispered.

"Fiyero—"

The prince leaned forward, capturing her lips with his own, and Galinda burst from concealment.

"Have you two been doing this behind my back this whole time?!" she yelled.

Fiyero leapt away, falling on his posterior in the grass.

"Galinda, it wasn't like that," Elphaba said, her eyes large and sparkling with teardrops.

"It was exactly like that," Fiyero called up from the ground.

Galinda looked between the two of them, hands on her hips. After no less than sixteen seconds, she proclaimed, "OH, THANK OZ!"

The two lovebirds shared a baffled look. Fiyero spoke slowly. "You're okay with this."

"I'm better than okay," Galinda gushed. "I'm fantasmatic."

Fiyero was quiet for a moment, probably thinking again, the poor thing. "Uh, Galinda, are you trying to break up with me by setting me up with your best friend? Because that is totally fine by me—"

"Oh, no"—Galinda patted his cheek—"I would never break up with you, dearest."

"I'm in love with your best friend," he said.

"Me too," Galinda squealed. "Group hug."

The tiny blonde darted forward, snagging Fiyero with one arm and…Elphaba blocked her other arm, giving her a stern look. "No. No hugging. Talking."

"Popular girls hug."

"I don't care about what popular girls do," Elphaba snapped.

"Haaaaaah," Galinda gasped. "You take that back."

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "You just said that you were in love with me."

Galinda nodded, her perfect curls bouncing. "Right."

"Care to expand upon that?"

"It seems pretty obvious."

"Humor me," Elphaba said, her voice breaking slightly.

Galinda gave a little huff but acquiesced. "Well, my pulse rushes and my head reels and my face flushes every time you walk into the room. At first, I thought it was because I hated you so much, but I adore you, now, and it's still happening. Also, girls are only supposed to kiss when boys are watching, but I want to kiss you when boys _aren't_ watching."

Elphaba's face was starting to look like Lurlinemas again.

Turning to Fiyero, the blonde cheerfully added, "Though you can watch if you want, darling."

He grinned. "Cool."

"You're acting like a moron again." Elphaba punctuated her statement with a solid smack to his arm.

"I am a moron," Fiyero declared, and Galinda's heart swelled with pride at his ability to just be who he was without apology.

"No you're not," Elphaba said.

Galinda smiled fondly at the arguing pair. "I'm so happy you two get along so well."

"You call this getting along?" Elphaba asked.

"Yes. For a while, I thought you couldn't stand each other, and I just couldn't stand that thought at all," she admitted with a sniffle.

Elphaba frowned. "Is that why you set us up on that ridiculous date?"

"I thought it was pretty fun," Fiyero said.

Galinda murmured, "I love you both so terribly much. I just want you to love each other, too."

Elphaba glanced down at her shoes, her voice equally soft. "We do."

A furrow appeared in Fiyero's brow. Oh, good goodliness, he just could not stop thinking lately. He gestured to a girl with each arm. "So, uh, is this happening? The three of us together?"

"I don't see why not," Galinda said.

They turned towards the last member of their trio.

The green girl took a deep breath and, with a hesitant smile, nodded. "Uh, yeah. I guess it is."

Galinda captured both of her dearest, darlingest darlings in a hug before they could protest. They probably weren't going to this time, but she certainly wasn't giving them the option.

Elphaba chuckled into her mass of blonde curls. "Galinda? You only seemed worried that I wouldn't like Fiyero."

"Mmhm," Galinda happily hummed.

"How did you know I was interested in you that way, though? Romantically, I mean," Elphaba asked.

That was the absolute silliest question Galinda had heard in her whole, entire life, so she couldn't help a little giggle.

"Oh, Elphie," Galinda said. " _Everyone_ loves me."


End file.
